Protecting What You Value Most
Tips for diffusing serious arguments among spouses
Many couples find themselves in endless arguments with their partners, and although arguments are part of life, no one wants to live in a constant war zone.
If you find yourself in this type of marriage, you may need to develop and practice your conflict resolution skills. Take steps to avoid divorce by learning how to dissolve your arguments.
Control your emotions
Marriage requires an emotional connection, but avoid loading every discussion with emotion. If you cannot control your emotions, walk away for a few minutes.
Learn to apologize
Whether you are right or wrong, you should be willing to apologize, even if it is for making your spouse feel bad. Also, learn to make requests instead of slinging criticism or complaining.
Listen to your partner
You cannot see your partner’s point of view if you never hear it. Therefore, hold your tongue and do not try to formulate a response; just listen. Ask questions so you understand the issue. Try to see the incident from your spouse’s perspective.
Focus on the current incident
Do not bring up past hurts or arguments, use arguments to criticize or belittle your partner or use disbelieving or contemptuous gestures, such as eye-rolling, hand gestures or facial expressions.
Instead, talk about the incident at hand. Focus on specifics. Seek a resolution where both sides come out better instead of trying to “win” the argument.
To protect your marriage from damage that leads to divorce, learn to quickly resolve your arguments. Learn to respect the differences between you and your spouse. In the end, you will decide if your marriage is worth the work.