Protecting What You Value Most

Divorcing your spouse is not divorcing your children

by | Jul 15, 2019 |

No one intends to get a divorce, especially once they start a family. However, divorces happen, and parents have to face the reality of separating from their spouse and co-parent. But does separation have to change your relationship with your children?

Separation may be necessary for your marriage, but it isn’t mandatory for your relationship with your children. You can easily maintain a close relationship with your kids while finalizing a divorce.

Five tips to keep family relationships secure after divorce

There are several ways divorced parents continue strong bonds with their children after a stressful separation:

1. Support your child’s emotional and physical needs – Children need their parents to be active in their lives, especially after a stressful experience like divorce. Luckily, parents who are present for their children physically and emotionally will help their children adjust to the new dynamic while strengthening their relationship.

2. Maintain the role of “parent” – After a divorce, many parents want to be fun and happy around their kids all the time. But it’s crucial to maintain typical responsibilities as a parent, including daily routines and discipline. It allows your child to find normalcy in a new environment and adjust quickly.

3. Have conversations with your children – Most kids have millions of thoughts going through their minds each day. And those thoughts intensify during their parents’ separation. As the parent, you need to listen to their thoughts and feelings. It would be best if both parents can sit and reassure their child that they will both be present after the divorce.

4. Establish logistics with your co-parent – A consistent schedule and a stable environment are crucial for a child’s development. And it’s easy to provide security for children after a divorce as long as you work with your co-parent. Once you set the logistics with the co-parent, communicate those details to your child, so they remain in the loop.

5. Prioritize quality over quantity – Most parents want to spend as much time as possible with their child after a divorce. But it’s better to spend quality time with your kids instead of spending the most amount of time with your children. Try to readjust how your perception of parenting schedules and see what plan works best for your kid.

Divorce does not mean the end of your relationship with your children. It may even offer you a new opportunity to find a parenting style that works well for you and your children, and it also gives you the chance to remain close to your family.