Whether you and your ex-spouse recently separated or divorced years ago, the one constant that ties you together is the care for your children. If your children live in an environment that fosters conflict and anger because of toxic coparenting, they may suffer long-term effects.
In addition to poor academic performance and having difficulty relating to their friends, your children might face additional childhood trauma.
Negative trajectories your children may face
The toxicity surrounding negative coparenting may affect how your children pick their future partners and how long their marriages may last. Additionally, your child may develop major insecurities, a fear of physical safety, chronic stress, and an overall sense of rejection in their own home.
Toxic parental behaviors to avoid
Any conflict between you and your ex poses a greater risk for harm to your children as compared to your actual divorce. Even your young children will pick up on the following toxic behaviors:
- Making your children conceal their feelings about their other parent.
- Creating an environment when your children hide information.
- Forcing your children to be the messenger between you and the other parent.
- Constantly inquiring about the other parent.
- Always speaking negatively about your ex in front of your children.
Ways to avoid conflictive coparenting
Incorporating healthy techniques to control your words or actions will positively affect your relationship with your children. Choose to read books or take classes on conflict disengagement, take deep breaths before responding emotionally and rephrase defensive statements by using the phrase “I feel.”
Overall, conflict between you and your ex while coparenting may complicate your children’s lives and identities, so try your best to work peacefully while raising your young ones.