Protecting What You Value Most

Common causes of disputes between divorced parents

As a divorced parent, you need to learn to co-parent efficiently with your ex. Usually, divorce itself does not trouble children as much as exposure to conflict can. Therefore, it is essential that you and your ex work together with grace.

You will disagree about certain matters; that happens even when parents live together. As you begin coparenting after the divorce, here are some common areas of dispute.

Time

It may be impossible to have as much time with your children now as you had before the divorce. Make sure your parenting time is quality time, and enjoy the breaks you get when your kids are with your ex.

Money

Many couples argue about money, so it should come as no surprise if you and your ex find finances a source of conflict. Post-divorce money discussions may revolve around child support. Extra expenses such as summer camp and braces can lead to disagreement as well.

You should try to compromise, but sometimes the chasm is too great. You can ask the court to modify the child support order, but there are limits regarding when and how often.

Rules and discipline

Parents almost always have different parenting styles, which may become more pronounced as children split time between households. If you are stricter, you may feel like the bad guy. If you are more lenient, you may feel like a doormat.

It is unreasonable to expect that two households will have exactly the same rules. However, children thrive with structure, so try to agree on a few basics: bedtime, hygiene, homework and school attendance.

No matter what the source of a conflict, the solution is constructive communication. Remember, you and your ex have the same goal: doing what is best for your children.