Protecting What You Value Most

Is nesting right for us?

The most common form of child custody arrangement after divorce is co-parenting. This is because having both parents actively involved in raising a child is, for the most part, the most beneficial situation for said child.

However, co-parenting is rife with challenges. More divorced families are opting for nesting arrangements in response to some of these difficulties. According to Psychology Today, nesting is when the children stay in one primary residence with both parents rotating out according to the custody arrangement.

What are the advantages of nesting?

Nesting can help provide a secure environment during divorce. For instance, if you happen to live in a high cost of living area, it may be that the only way to keep the children in the same school district and with the same friends is to choose a nesting arrangement after divorce.

Additionally, keeping the children in one house eliminates a lot of the issues surrounding moving the children back and forth. Nobody will ever forget precious stuffed animals or necessary medications at “the other house” if there is no other house.  

What are the disadvantages of nesting?

You will need to have very strong communication with your ex-spouse in order for nesting to work well. Good communication is necessary for any amount of co-parenting, but nesting requires even more.

This can be difficult if you have an acrimonious relationship with him or her. It is also not very common for nesting arrangements to be long-term, as usually the parents wish to establish permanent households for themselves and potentially want to move on to other relationships. Nesting can make this difficult.