There are a variety of marital troubles that could eventually lead to divorce. Money problems, infidelity and differing values may be some commonly recognized reasons for divorce, but some marital troubles may run even deeper.
Independence is held in high regard in America. People almost always consider it a positive trait to have. However, too much independence could be threatening the health of intimate relationships.
How could independence hurt marriages?
Humans are naturally social. As such, we rely on others to meet some of our needs, especially our need for companionship.
However, this reliance on others can make someone feel vulnerable. As a result, someone may avoid sharing his or her feelings and experiences with others and may even withhold those feelings from himself or herself.
Intimate relationships usually fare much better with open communication. When one or both spouses avoid sharing meaningful details about their experiences, the health of the relationship can be jeopardized.
Too much independence in a marriage can prevent spouses from recognizing the need for cooperation and mutual support. It can also distort someone’s self-importance and make someone insensitive to his or her spouse.
How can spouses protect their marriage?
To avoid falling prey to hyper-independence, spouses may need to be both supportive and supported. This means that each spouse must balance independence and a willingness to be dependent. This balance is called interdependence.
Interdependence occurs when spouses understand that they both benefit from their relationship. Spouses who are interdependent recognize that they each have valuable qualities that are unique, yet complimentary. They also recognize that each person’s qualities helps make the relationship better and that together they can create something that neither spouse could create on his or her own.
There probably is not any way to predict with certainty the fate of any marriage. However, spouses who strive for interdependence may be better equipped to handle the other difficulties that may come their way.